Ability to separate life situations thar are controllable and uncontrollable is an important skill to reduce stress in our lives.
What do I mean by control?
Usually we like to control everything in our lives to make it more predictable because then future feels less uncontrollable.
However, the problem (or not even a problem?) is that we simply cannot influence our future as much as we want.
Therefore it is important to separate what I am able to control and what I am not able to keep under control. What I can control: my own thoughts, my own behavior, my own boundaries, my own opinion, etc.
There are parts of life that we cannot control
What I CANNOT control: the thoughts and behavior of others, other’s opinion, attitudes etc. So we save a lot of energy if we do concentrate on things that are controllable.
How to make what is not controllable more tolerable:
- set our boundaries
- be more assertive
- use emotion-focused coping
- meditate
- do sports
- do yoga
- walk
- have a massage
- go to a psychologist
- accept the situation
In order to reduce stress in our lives it is vital to separate what we can control from what we cannot control. If you start feeling anxious just ask yourself ‘Can I have a control over this?’. If the answer is no, accepting the fact that this just happened will make it much more easier for you to move on.
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