Knowing our own positive and negative schemas is an important aspect of self-esteem. Our schemas are distilled from our own experiences, which are based on our own conclusions and beliefs.
Negative schemas
Everyone has their own schemas about themselves, but these schemas are not always active. Negative schemas have a huge effect on our self-esteem. The most common negative schemas are:
1. I am worthless
2. I am not lovable
3. I am helpless
These schemas are often not conscious, rather they work in our subconscious. If you are in a negative mood, or something deeply shocking or depressing happens, then it may be useful to observe what you think about the situation at that moment. If you start to experience a lot of negative thoughts, it is possible that your negative schemas were activated.
Ask yourself:
What does this mean to me? What does it say about me?
For example, if you mess something up, and afterward you ruminate on it, just ask yourself:
The fact that I screwed up, what does it say about me? If the answer to this question is that I’m an unlucky person, and these thoughts come up frequently, then your maladaptive schema is “I’m miserable”.
Adaptive schemas
Adaptive schemas are a mixture of life experiences and positive beliefs about yourself. Indeed, adaptive schemas can maintain positive self-esteem. For example:
1. I am valuable
2. I am lovable
3. I can actively influence my life
4. I am good at this.
Etc.
We all have negative schemas, which may decrease self-esteem when they are activated. The goal is that we try to increase our positive schemas and reduce the ones that harm us.
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