You must have already noticed that suppressing or ignoring our emotions makes them more vivid and reinforces negative feelings. If we go close to our emotions then the feelings will be more tolerable and soon they fade away. But how to process feelings?
1. Notice and name the feelings to process them
Recognizing and naming our emotions can be difficult because no one has taught us how to deal with them. Ask yourself: What do I feel now? Here’s how to answer this question: I feel…. Phrasing it like that, we step away from our feelings and do not identify with them (I’m angry), so we can look at them objectively.
Here you will find the list of all of the human emotions to choose from:
- Anxiety
- Sorrow
- Courage
- Distrust
- Happiness
- Annoyance
- Pride
- Cheating
- Anger
- Compassion
- Satisfaction
- Hostility
- Fear
- Shyness
- Jealousy
- Frustration
- Hate
- Gratitude
- Anger
- Envy
2. Observe your feelings without judgment
Notice the feeling that pops up and be unjudgmental. Observing it without judgment means that we do not judge whether it is a ‘negative’ or ‘positive’ emotion, we just observe the feeling. Like a scientist look at it with interest, as if you wouldn’t have experienced anything like this before. So we do not avoid the feeling, we are observing it with interest. Notice where you feel the emotion in your body. Describe the feeling: It’s hard now or it’s painful. Now, what are the thoughts that are associated with this emotion?
Finding the automatic thought that triggered your feelings can also help to understand where all these emotions stem from. For example, thoughts of failure can trigger feeling of hopelessness. More on depression
Finally, an important aspect of emotion regulation is that we should aim to behave and live according to our values that are important to us.
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