For a long time grief was viewed as a journey where the grieving person had to go through stages of grief in order to process the loss. Now, grief and loss is viewed as a process which is less structured.
Professionals dealing with loss believed that they should work with bereavement, this is called grief work. However, many spoke out against this idea and expressed their opposition.
They contend that imposing a structured framework may inadvertently stifle the individuality of grief experiences, hindering the natural progression of emotions. In their opposition, these critics emphasize the uniqueness of each grieving journey and advocate for a more flexible approach that honors the diverse ways individuals cope with loss.
Criticism of the model of grieving
Criticisms of the “grief work” were as follows:
1. There are people who go through bereavement without actively doing anything to deal with it
2. You can’t mourn all the time because it’s exhausting
3. There are advantages of denying and ignoring bereavement as well
4. It does not consider other sources of stress
5. Lack of empirical evidence that grief work is mandatory for processing it
6. The concept of grief work is not clear either, many people interpret it in different ways
New model of grieving
Therefore, Henk Schut and Stroebe wanted to create a new model that provides a more flexible guideline for grief work: the dual process model of coping with bereavement (Stroebe & Schut, 1999) states that the oscillation between loss-oriented and recovery-oriented experiences is a way of regulating emotions.
Loss-orientation phase in bereavement
Also, they highlight that this oscillatory process is a completely normal phenomenon. In the loss orientation, we experience our loss. Thoughts and images related to the loss break into our consciousness, and we actively avoid dealing with it in the restorative orientation.
More on how to process your feelings
Restoration orientation
On the other hand, in the restoration orientation, we try new things that we have not done before, we rebuild our lives, and form new relationships. Indedd, the restoration orientation encourages individuals to actively explore new experiences and undertake endeavors they may not have pursued before. Advocates of this approach believe in proactively rebuilding one’s life in the absence of a loved one and forming new connections with others.
More on the dual-process of bereavement
🖤During a healthy grieving process, the loss orientation and recovery orientation alternates, sometimes we are dealing with one, sometimes with the other orientation.
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